Positive Parenting Plans

Executive Sumary about Parent Children by Dore Frances

parent children

A Parent Coordinator is an impartial third party available to assist parents in resolving issues relating to parenting and other family issues prior to their child moving on to their next program or school after wilderness, or prior to graduation or returning home from their residential program.

• Clarifying priorities prior to returning home or moving on to their next program or school
• Developing a parenting plan that meets the needs of the child and the parents
• Developing methods of collaboration in parenting
• Identifying disputed issues

This situation is different than when we are Parenting Coordinator’s assigned by the court. At times parents decide to divorce just prior to, or while their child is attending their residential treatment program or school. In some cases, it makes more sense for children to hear about the decision to separate from both parents who have additional support. If this is the case, the Parent Coordinator makes sure that they works with your child’s therapist.

They repeatedly tell your child that both parents will always love them and that you will always be a family. The Parenting Plan addresses any concerns the child may have like the need to maintain a relationship with both parents. The Parent Coordinator can help explain that a divorce does not end your child’s relationship with either parent. The marriage may end, however, the parent-child relationship will continue

Generally, for a child in a youth program or boarding school, short, clear explanations are best. Remember children will ask the same questions repeatedly. It is very important that both parents reinforce that the separation/divorce is taking place because of differences between the parents.

Working with your child’s therapist in their program helps you conduct such conversations without damaging or disparaging remarks about the other parent. Children adjust more easily when parents show a healthy sense of respect and caring for the other parent despite difficult circumstances. Co-parenting responsibilities apply to all parents whether they are married or divorced.

The extent that parents can effectively co-parent their children greatly determines how children will adjust after returning home from their emotional growth program or school. Parents who have a child returning home after graduation or completion of their program will now have to start dealing with more day-to-day issues concerning their child’s welfare.

Also, parents who acknowledge and effectively deal with their own difficult feelings usually have an easier time. On the other hand, recurrent arguments between parents make life difficult for children and parents alike. When parents fight for their own agenda and neglect creating a peaceful environment, their children may develop bitter feelings and have difficulties later in life with their own intimate relationships. Being in a family style program or outdoor school brings about many changes in the lives of both parents and children.

One change for children may be in their immediate support network. Some parents move to a new community before their child returns home. When possible, keep friends, family, school, and other community support systems stable. When changes are necessary, make sure you give your children ample notice about them and discuss them with your child’s therapist while still in their program. The more comfortable parents are with such changes the more comfortable their children will be. Make room for whatever your children are experiencing.

Sample Checklist for a stable home environment after your child returns home from their program:

• Develop a firm parenting schedule that provides frequent and regular contact with the nonresident parent.
• Do not burden children with adult responsibilities.
• End parental conflict, at least within the child’s earshot.
• Support children’s relationships with their other parent and that parent’s extended family.
• Seek out other sources of social support for your children.

A well-thought-out and executed parenting plan is an important tool for ensuring the health and well being of your children. A good parenting plan will outline how you will perform co-parenting responsibilities.

The parenting plan is a living document that must evolve with the needs of your growing children. Children are our most precious resource.

Tags : children divorce parents, children with divorced parents, parent children, parenting children
Categories : Parent